X-Blades Xbox360 Review – Cute chick kills monsters while wearing a thong


"Cute chick kills monsters while wearing a thong" – That about sums up this game. Seriously though X-Blades is a hack and slash style game that brings back memories of games from my youth, which isn’t a bad thing, though some are bad memories. Hack and slash style games are really few and far between these days, most games involve a deep story with character development and the creators want you to be immersed in the story, but not X-Blades. This game is fun, plain and simple and it gets us back to the basics. Don’t expect some involved, complex storyline here, just expect to hack you way through thousands of monsters using dual gunblades, magic and wearing not much but a thong.

The main character in X-Blades is Ayumi, a cute petite blond, that’s essentially a female Indiana Jones or Lara Croft style character. She’s a treasure hunter or grave robber, whichever the case may be and whichever nets her the most money.

X-Blades is done in true anime style, so Ayumi is cute, bubbly, kinda goofy and not wearing much in terms of clothing. Her character shows as much skin as possible, her armor is virtually non-existent, which I still have yet to figure out why female fighters wear next to nothing but yet survive attacks from creatures ten times their size. Scratch that, I know why, cause sex sells…

Don’t get me wrong, X-Blades might not sound that great, but it is fun, in a mindless hack and slash kind of way. Sometimes simple is better and can be lots of fun. In reality though, X-Blades is a pretty bad game, it’s an idea that might have worked well had a little bit more thought went into creating it, it seems like an attempt to copy several other games and combine their good parts into one game. Gunblades anyone, where do we know that from? Cute, shapely, female adventurer wearing not much clothing, where’s that from? X-Blades is just bland, plain and simple.

Here’s the box shots:

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Long, long ago, in an age that only the gods can now remember, the universe was ruled by two powerful beings that were revered and worshipped by all races – but the ‘brotherly’ relationship between these two creatures was always in question from the beginning of time, simply because no one knew who the real number 1 was. While the Enlightened was on the side of good, helping his people how and when he could, the Dark One was quite the opposite, full of hate and devilish works – and so the never-ending battle between the Enlightened and the Dark One persisted for centuries. Humans suffered terribly thanks to this constant combat between the two – combat which shook the universe to its very core. Finally, thanks to a trick, the Enlightened succeeded in banishing the divine power of the Dark One, imprisoning it in an Artifact – but in doing so, the Enlightened lost his own divine powers, because the two divine beings were inseparably linked to one another. This is how two Artifacts came to be hidden in a huge Temple – and how the Enlightened prevented the downfall of the entire universe. However, these two artifacts contain total, absolute power – both good and evil. Any human being who comes in contact with the powerful stones will be horribly cursed – and the power of darkness will once again be awakened.

The game begins when a map which has been lost for countless years suddenly turns up – and it shows the location of the artifacts. The adventurer Ayumi starts searching for the immensely valuable stones. Powerful forces against which she is helpless threaten to awake in her body. Now it’s up to her to discover what the secret of the curse is – and at last defeat the darkness.

* Absorbing fantasy story with spectacular landscapes and figures
* Attractive heroine in Anime style
* Learn to play easily – wide range of development possibilities
* Special mode for a heroine with demonic forces
* Innovative Blade Gun for firing projectiles and for close combat
* Role-playing elements to improve skills and enhance weapons
* Over 20 types of magic in different classes
* Around 40 different scenarios (Indoor and Outdoor)
* Alternative endings, depending on player’s actions
* Hidden Power-ups hook players to explore levels
* Over 30 different classes of opponent
* Powerful Boss opponents with fantastic design
* Cinematic stylistic devices like Bullet-Time
* Various difficulty levels – from Beginner to Pro

For the majority of X-Blades you spend the game staring at Ayumi from behind, sure the view is ‘interesting’ at first but it gets old quickly. I’m thinking that’s the only reason this game really got the ‘M’ rating, other than that it’s basically killing fictional monsters which I can’t see deserving that rating. I’m thinking Gaijin and SouthPeak were going for controversy or the ‘sex sells’ angle here with this game. Personally I would have opted for more clothing in favor of a better storyline, and gameplay. X-Blades is your basic good vs. evil, and in that aspect it works, but still it’s the premise of many games out there today.

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One of the many complaints I have is that X-Blades is a keep moving forward style game, it might have ben a bit more interesting with open worlds. Another would be that most of the time if you re-visit and area you already completed, the enemies are back, including the bosses, so you’ve got to fight them all over again, gets annoying quickly. It’s very repetitive and that can get old very quickly.

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The camera, for the most part works, but at times it gets stuck at odd angles and behind things so you can’t see your character and you end up getting killed because of it.

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Actual gameplay consists of basic hack and slash, just keep shooting with your gunblades, or Blade Guns as they call them, and slashing away at anything that moves and hope for the best. Eventually you end up with the ability to use magic, and the effects aren’t bad for the spells, but eye-candy does not make a good game.

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While playing you’ll learn that only certain spells work against certain bosses, or mini-bosses, luckily though the game tells you what you need to defeat the monster. The system basically works on the elements, ice based monsters can be defeated by fire, light against dark etc

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In the end X-Blades is worth playing to kill some time and not really have to think about doing much, but I wouldn’t pay full price for it, get it used or in the bargain bin or rent it.

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To finish this off, and for what it’s worth, I’ve got a few movies for you as well

Here’s the intro that sort of tells you the story behind the game, but not really..

and here’s the menus:

and finally here’s just some gameplay:

Seems like a lot of stuff to do with all these screenshots and videos for a less than mediocre game, but oh well, it’s part of the job…

To quote Monty Python: "Run Away!"

Seriously though X-Blades isn’t worth your money at full cost, might be worth a rental for some mindless hack and slash fun, but that’s about it.

X-Blades just can’t compete with the games it tried to copy, it seems to try to be creative but fails miserably at it, especially when you blatantly copy things from other games.


+Cute girl running around in a thong

-Seems to copy many other games
-Repetitiveness that gets old quickly
-Gameplay is not that great
-Funky camera angles that can results in death
-Game just gets old quickly
-Mindless and continuous hack and slash

Overall score-4-10
Design score-4-10
Performance score-5-10

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